I am spending my child support on dildos
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize