would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
