ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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