I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He shit in the fireplace
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
