Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
