Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
