i was rollin on her like bob the builder
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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