I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize