you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
