I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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