My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize