I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My friends, they love my intelligence
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
