do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
