And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
