We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
