Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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