: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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