remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
