I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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