i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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