I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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