so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize