Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
