If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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