I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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