im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
