you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
