If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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