you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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