I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
