My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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