so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
