We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
