How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
