Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
