i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
