I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
