Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Vodka?
Forever.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize