you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
