My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Randomize
