Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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