So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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