We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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