Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
