Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Randomize
