In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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