she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
