know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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