Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
