a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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