...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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