Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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