dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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