i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
i out mim tonsoeep
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