I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
