don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
