Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
