After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
