it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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