I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize