I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
