super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
