Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
