Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
