His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
whose parrot is this?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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