She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
