great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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