it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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