talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize