So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
