Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
