"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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