Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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