somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
