i just made my gag reflex go away.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
