Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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