It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
