they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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