Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
