i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
