I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
