obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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