return my video game
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
